LucKEY KuntZ: Coming out to a Muslim #EIDMubarak

(Art by: Lana Peterson via @outmuslim)

"Coming out...AGAIN"

Case Number: #06032019 

Subject: Egyptian Muslim 

Name: English Student

Age: 26 years

Sex: Female

Gender: CIS Female 

Pronoun: She/ Her

Relationship: Single

Children: No

Sexual Orientation: UNKNOWN

Art by: @pakgaystani

It was an atypical day. We would speak 2-3 times a week. This particular video call started off with her being flustered with looking for her shoes at the front door. She became frustrated that her sister may have borrowed them w/o asking.  However, for the past few weeks during Ramadan, we'd normally discuss how she enjoyed iftar with family and friends. I'd indulge in the details of delicious foods which included succulent spices like coriander or mint, fragrant aromas from the halal meats, sugary sweetness from the homemade fruit custards, and finally the crunchy, greasy-fried goodness offered from those coveted paneer fritters! 

On this day, specifically, I was eager to hear about her family time during suhoor. Instead, I was met with the fact that she must turn off her video because she is leaving her home; Understandable, given the cultural climate. Secondly, she shifted moods by saying, "Rachel, can I ask you something?" It was at that point, I braced myself for some TABOO topic she knew I didn't want to talk about or knew she couldn't talk about. "Sure!" I said. "Is it true that lesbians are identified with an earring in their nose?" she mumbled. 

I was flabbergasted! At this point, I couldn't see her face and she couldn't see mine, luckily! An immediate "NOooo!" flew outta my mouth. I asked her why she'd think that. She explained that she and her father got into a heated debate about her DESIRE to get a discreet nose-piercing. It was in that moment she, too, found herself defending queer women from such a foolish stereotype. I realized that she needed validation for doing the right thing. Her proceeding question, "Would you get a nose ring if people actually believed that?" HESITATION filled the silence. Suddenly, I got flashbacks of being in a Catholic church confessional with the priest, spewing my sins a.k.a. guilty pleasures. I blurted, "I am married to a lesbian! I mean... I am a lesbian. We are married!" The suspense of a black screen staring back at me, void of any sign of celebration had me wondering if I had said the right thing. Still no response, so I continued on saying, "Even I don't have a nose ring and I am a lesbian." Then she laughed! At last, she let me know how absurd her father was being. She reassured me that she disagreed with his notion because if people find the time to talk to me they will know I am a "good girl." I admitted that I honestly was considering a nose ring in the near future. She then admitted that she still wants one! So call me extra, but somewhere in my heart that translates to her being an ALLY. It may be a reach, but it went better than I imagined. Unfortunately, I haven't heard from her since.  EID MUBARAK? Perhaps. I HOPE. - Jeanie Rei