LucKEY KuntZ: Listen Up Laos!

Not taking life so seriously is highly therapeutic. 

SAY IT WITH YOUR CHEST!

"Don't take life so seriously," she said. 

"Go sat down somewhere," she said.

"Stop rushing, " she said.

"Don't worry," she said.

"I got it," she said. 

These were all things I try to remind myself of when the onset of panic attacks stir-up instantly. Living overseas in a Buddhist country, constantly visiting predominately Muslim land and daring to love freely on this open-communist territory (Laos), have all equally contributed to my schmorgesborg of FEAR relating to queer PDA with my WIFE. 

"I love you," she said, as she fiercely looked into my eyes. The emptiness was undeniable. The pain of rejection was apparent. Her loyalty to Compromise was setting her soul ablaze, leaving her eyes filled with tears she couldn't cry; Washing over like an icy glaze. 

The SILENCE. That very silence stung like a cracked whip that fell upon my back. My teeth felt as if they shattered with every vibration from the words I fixed my mouth to say. "I... love... you... too." My absolute genuine response had now become questionable, rightfully so.

"If you love me, why don't you___"

"If you love me, how come you___"

"If you love me, then you would__"
<<< --Tell dem why you mad, son! 

An entire monologue I imagined her following response to be. I'd soon realize that I'd be mistaken. That piercing silence gave room to TELEPATHY.  It moved me into action. My heart lashed out screaming vindications, yet there was no audio. "Find JOY. Be QUEER. There was no time for regrets, it's all borrowed." 

Images above are the aftermath of that pivotal moment I decided to not live in fear. I would be lying if I let you believe I'm out & proud around these Southeast Asian streets. However, I am coming to a healthier resolution. Building a balanced foundation between modesty and respect for culture & religion. Adding the fact that my amazingly loving and patient wife deserves the best of me that she initially fell in love with. I look at this final photo of myself riding in the rickshaw that collected my bones, and I have so much to tell her. 

"There there, My Child." 
"It gets better." 
"Use EXPLETIVES." 
"Live your LIFE!"